Written by: Morgan Snyder
An open letter to a student at (Redacted) High School,
You were participating in class, doing the activity with everyone else. We were discussing the list of what you want and don’t want in a relationship in order to set standards and have a healthy, strong relationship. The list was getting long … you say to the person next to you, “no one at (this high school) is ever going to match this list.” You laughed while you said it, but I took your comment to heart.
You might be right. Maybe the standards we were discussing were too high for those that you spend time with every day to meet. Here is what I wish I would have said to you when you made your observant comment:
You are what makes your high school what it is, you and your peers. If you look around you and don’t like what you see, then you must be the change, or else there will never be any change! History is full of people who decided that the bar should be raised and they held themselves accountable first and foremost and then those who respected them followed. You can be a world changer by going against the crowd and choosing the best and healthiest decisions despite what others do. Even if no one else does, YOU can match that list and be the best person that YOU can be!
Second, the world is so much bigger than your high school. You may be looking around you now and wonder where all the good people are, where the people are who will meet your standards. I promise, they exist. You will not find perfection, but you can find healthy, and it is worth waiting for. If you are not seeing the kind of person you want to date around you, it may take leaving that environment, but you can find it if you look in the right places. Please don’t settle for less than what you deserve just because that is all you see. Healthy is not a fantasy, it is attainable!
Lastly, you are worth having high standards. The “bar” we set for others is not a reflection of who is around us, it is a reflection of our own value. Boundaries are determined by how important the thing being protected is. You being respected, cared for, and treated well is of the highest importance. You are worth having strict boundaries around because your innate value far exceeds what you think!